Total change in life again

Kaelyn is nearly 17 months and life is changing in a big way from Monday!

I start work! I haven't worked since September 2009 ... retrenched when I was 7 months pregnant with Kaelyn, was then lucky enough to stay home with her for 16 1/2 months and have eventually been lucky enough to find a job working half day so I still get to be with her in the afternoons.

I have had her at school for 2 hours a day for 1 1/2 weeks and then a normal 7:30 - 2 day for a week and it has been heart breaking, seeing her cry, but she sounds like she has a different personality at school vs home, been told she is very sociable and will talk to anyone, she is independent, that she feeds herself with a spoon and at home she clings to me like glue and wants me to carry her around a lot of the time. Part of me thinks this will be the best thing for her and me, but a part of me still wonders if I am doing the right thing.

Gareth is away for 6 days and I have to start work and do the mad morning rush alone for the 1st 3 days, which is freaking me out a little, but like most thins I worry about ... they come to naught! They go smoothly and stress free ??? (I wish)

6 Months

Shew Kaelyn is 6 months already and ever so cute. Got her 1st tooth 4 days before she was 6 months, was a bit of a surprise as I wasn't expecting it? Slow or hopeful I don't know, just I didn't get much sleep for 10 days, shew now knowing what is to come ... yikes! How many teeth do they get?

She is sitting nicely now and loves to sing and babble and screech and blow raspberries. So so cute, except when she does it between 12 and 1am in the morning (the last 3 mornings) Like she has a little karaoke party going on in her cot!

This week she started peering around things to see what disappears or what she can hear, which is so sweet!

I am so sad today though, feel lost? No clue why? Feel like I have lost myself if that makes sense? I will have to think of getting work, but am scared and feel a bit useless ... oh boy I am a bit of a sorry case today!

5 months

So Kaelyn is nearly 5 months, I just can't believe it at all! She is the most precious little girl out. She smiles at everyone and watches them like she has known them for years, even if it is some arb stranger at the shops who stops to talk to her!

She is still waking 2 times for a feed most nights, but settles herself quite easily at night which I am grateful for and sleeps from about 6:30pm to 6am, which is great. During the day is a different story, she tends to fight sleep, but it is becoming easier with every passing week! BUT she is sleeping on our bed on her doughnut during the day, I don't put her in her room, cause my neighbours are so noisy in their offices in their garden during the day it is so annoying! But when she starts rolling ..... mmm so better start getting her used to it now.

I am going to start her on solids in the next few weeks, which is exciting and daunting all in 1. I just can not believe she is nearly 5 months! How did we get here so fast?

Time

How can my little tiny baby angel be 4 months on Saturday? How did we get here so fast? I love watching her developments and they are coming fast and furiously now, but I miss that tiny little being that could fit in the crook of my arm! Her little personality is coming out now and she is such a happy child and rather cheeky too. She is so curious and I take her to the shops in the front pack and she absolutely loves it, loves the lights and colours and if we take her for a walk around the neighbourhood in it, she stares at the trees and lamp posts, it is oh so cute. She doesn't like to be held face in, that is way too boring.

She has grown so much and is above average in height at 62cm at 15.5 days and average (which I was told is big for a girl) at 6.05kg. She is a long string bean and is only now starting to get a few little fat wrinkles on her thighs. Her 3 - 6 month baby grows are not going to last her till 6 months, that is for sure.

I have been breast feeding exclusively for 3 months, 4 weeks and she seems to be thriving. She still wakes up basically 2 times a night and in general is a good sleeper, but we do have bad times of her not sleeping well.

I never knew you could love a little being so much. She has brought so much light and love to my life, I am truly blessed!

A delayed post

My gorgeous baby girl was born on the 15th of January 2010 and is already 11 weeks and 2 days old. So much has happened in this last 11 weeks and I won't be able to put it all down, but I am so in love with her.

She was great till 2 weeks and then started being very unhappy and screaming all the time, turns out (we think) she is allergic to egg yolk? Once I stopped eating eggs, she stopped screaming?
We also took her to the chiro and the poor girls back was so out! The chiro was so amazing and so good with her, he has a little one 1 week older than Kaelyn! She in the beginning cried when on her back, after the chiro, she loves being on her back! Amazing!

She started to smile properly (even though a little uncontrolled) at 5 weeks and 2 days! It just makes my heart melt!

Now she is already more of a solid baby and not just a lump of baby. She can sit if I hold her, she has started a kind of laugh, which isn't really a laugh yet. Anything that happens to get into her hand goes up to her mouth. But if it goes over her eyes she cries even though she is still forcing whatever it is into her mouth. She makes me laugh.

She has G's ears, my eyes and thumbs, my mom's eyebrows and every thing else comes from G's side of the family. But she is cute.

I heard about this love you had for a child once it was born and how this love grew, but I never truly understood the love that you have for your child. I just love her so much and I love her 11 weeks worth of "more " than I did when she was born and it just keeps on growing.

I had to go onto Eglanol in the beginning as I didn't want to snap, as it isn't an easy transgression from couple life to baby in your life and the wake ups and the crying for who knows what reason, but I am nearly totally weened of of it and I don't resent her for those big crying sessions in the middle of the night anymore. The are just part of my life and we get through them all. Not that she has many to be honest. Only when I have too many green veggies.

Breast feeding is easy, I really enjoy it and I guess I am lucky as she feeds every 2 hours, but sometimes every 3,depending. BUT she won't take a bottle at all, screams blue murder when a bottle is given to her! Doesn't matter if it is expressed milk or formula, she refuses to take it. mmm!

I just love my baby!

No sign of Labour

Ok so today being the 11 January, I am 39 weeks and 5 days pregnant and I was so sure I was going to have my little BeeGee around 39 weeks. I guess it was just wishful thinking?

I am so so grateful to be pregnant and I have loved so much of it. But I have been 1 of the lucky few who has had morning sickness the whole way through. Yup you read right. I throw up 9 out of 10 mornings and if I don't carry almonds in my pocket, I will throw up during the day too. I have felt like my stomach is going to pop since about 30 weeks and it gets more so every day. So I am at the stage now where I really want her out and I want to meet her and hold her and kiss her and love her. Show her to the world.

I so want to go into labour even if I have to have a c-sec. I am not too keen on being induced, but the Dr said that with my appt on Thurs, if I haven't gone into labour he might induce me on Friday. But do I want that, or do I just want a plain old c-sec if she doesn't appear by then. I hate having to make these decisions ... I really wanted nature to take its course and decide for me on the birth route, but at this moment in time, I think I have to make that decision.

Yesterday I had all this energy and was trimming plants in the garden and cleaning the front of the kitchen cupboards and doing loads of stuff. Went for tea at my BIL house in this afternoon and as we left I was getting more and more shooting pains up my legs, I didn't want to sit and that is all I have wanted to do for months now. I thought hey maybe this is it. But to my disappointment ... no such luck, no sign of BeeGee at all during the night. I want to cry. I just want her so bad now. Plus I want to be a little less uncomfy, can't say I am not selfish here too!

G won't let me drive anymore. Because of those shooting pains. Says all I need is 1 while driving and then I put myself and our child in danger, which I agree with and haven't actually driven much for ages, but I hate being house bound and relying on other people.

On Saturday we went to see Avatar, was the 1st movie I have seen in ages and also during the day in like 6 years. G and I don't go to movies during the day, as it wastes precious time? So was quite surprised when I mentioned it to him and he agreed!

Anyway ... all I am doing now is vegging and hoping and praying my little BeeGee comes out healthy and happy very very soon!

End of the year

I last posted the end of October. Man life waits for no man ... or woman!

This year has flown. It has been 1 roller coaster ride of a year, I must be honest. It has thrown us lemon and rotten eggs, but ti has also thrown is rose petals and love.

Everything worked out for the best work wise. My lawyer was a super star and I got the car, it is officially in my name and he paid me the amount I specified. Which is a blessing in disguise ... all sorted before the end of the year. I had to get new tyres, new shocks and some brush or bush or something replaced too, was damn expensive and took alot of the money I got paid out, but way way cheaper than buying a new car! What a blessing! I went to my folks straight after being retrenched and I felt so at peace. My folks spoilt me and baby rotten! I ate like a horse and gained 2kg in 1 week!

Got back to Jhb and went to sort out UIF ... seeing is believing that they will start paying me 4 weeks from when I went ... meant to be 24 Dec? Ja right. But guess you never know. I am not enjoying not having my own money, that is 1 scary thing, but am sure it will get better!

But was saying to G over the weekend, this year has been 1 roller coaster between my MC in Jan and falling pregnant again in May and The car battle with my ex boss and then the retrenchment and all and for the 1st time this year I feel at peace. At peace with myself and the world! The weight has gone from my shoulders and I feel free! (other than not earning money)

I have painted every nook and cranny in the baby's room and I have been and gotten the basics of what baby needs and what I need for hospital. I have baked and baked and baked ... I have made jam and bottled fruit! I have seen friends ... I have sewed and sewed some more. I have washed the new born clothes and blankets. I have packed the baby's bag ... mine is more of a challenge! And eventually the room is coming to an end and things are packed away.

I had an awesome Baby shower and was spoilt rotten!

I have 1 month left, can you believe it ... 1 month, if she decides to stay in that long. Which I am hoping she does. Or maybe 1 week less, but no less than that. Gynae is away until 2nd Jan, so I am hoping she sticks it out till then!

4 weeks though ... everyone says the last month is the hardest, which I can now understand! I am just hoping that because it is a busy month ... it will go a bit faster. I have started drinking raspberry leaf tea in the afternoons and that seems to be helping with my uncomfy feelings!

I can't believe the girls that were just in front of me with falling pregnant are about to have their babies ... a couple this week already. Where does time go? Good luck girls ... will be thinking of you! Loads!

Plus my friend is coming back from the UK with her baby, I can't wait!

Another friend is pregnant ... whoo hoo! Congrats girl!

And all my other friends babies are growing up so fast!

Christmas isn't at our place this year for a change, we decided that it was safer to do it elsewhere. So having it at the in-laws. But my folks are away and it is going to be 1 different Christmas this year!