Mom & Dad

I must be honest and say my Mom & Dad have been the best support group around. My Mom always worries that maybe she didn't do something right bringing us up, but I think they did a good job. As being a parent is what most of us dream to do, but actually doing it isn't as easy as we would like to believe (I think).

I was a mistake, my folks had their 2 girls and were happy, then 1 day they had a bit of a chance when both my sisters were taking a nap and they did something that none of us like to think our parents do. My mom didn't use her diaphragm as they were caught in the moment and figured that it was the totally wrong time of the month to fall pregnant, so thought, what the hell. But little did they know that I was waiting in the wings for that slight little opportunity to join my family.

Poor Mom when she realised she was pregnant again, by mistake she was so unhappy, she really didn't want a 3rd child. Finances were already quite tight and having a 3rd 1 would make them more so. But soon into the pregnancy she changed her mind as it was an easier pregnancy. Everything about her pregnancy was different so they decided I was their boy! Shame little did they know. They hadn't even chosen a girls name, as that is how convinced they were that I was a boy. I am so glad I wasn't a boy as my name would have been Crispan? I arrived 10 Feb 1976 at 23h30 (30min before their anniversary) and 7 days early. My mom said as I came out I looked up and my eyes were watching the doctor and Dad the whole time. She said I was their ray of sunshine, I was always a happy baby and so easy. When I started to crawl they called me Sweet pea as I used to crawl out of the baby grow (don't' all babies).

My 1 sister always used to tell me I was adopted and I think part of me hoped I was, that I wasn't part of this mad family, but as the years past and we all grew up, there was no mistaking we are all part of the same family.

My parents have always been there for me, in their own way, possibly not always the way I wanted them to be, but I always tried to be open and host with them, but might have told a few lies!!! They I think thought I was nuts when I went overseas and sent back pictures of me smoking a joint in Amsterdam and a photo of me with a new belly ring in undies, a bobbies hat & F** me boots! Poor folks! They supported me through an abusive boyfriend, stupid boyfriends, my crazy goth years, my wedding, my divorce, my next wedding (even though they were nervous), my pregnancy & my miscarriage!

I know I moan about my Mom a bit, but to her I have always been the strong child, that she can come cry on my shoulder and phone me needing cheering up and I accepted that role and when the time came for me to break down and cry I don't think she quite knew how to handle it all. I wasn't the daughter she was used to. So I can't blame her, I think I should look at myself more and think You let everyone believe you were strong all the time, why do you expect them to understand when you are weak?

My Dad, well my Dad has never been a man of many words, he was always the clown ... turning his cap backwards on the beach and pretending he was a gorilla to embarrass us all! Him catching 2 baby fish when I was 5 and telling me to tell everyone else, that I had caught them. Him not being the disciplinarian in the house, but if Dad shouted or spoke sternly, then you know you had done something wrong, cause Dad was always nice. But he was always there to help, like putting up lights when I was suddenly living alone or buying me something when he knew I had no money.

I think I have the best parents ever and am very very lucky. Even though now I sometimes feel I am more the parent than them and it isn't a good feeling to feel like that and to see them age and worry about things you know they would never have worried about 5 - 10 years ago.

I can't expect them to be as excited about things as I am, or sad about things as I am. But I know no matter what, they love us all and would do anything for us.

I have 13 days left with them in the same province as me before they are off to their new life and it is going to be so strange not having them just a few km away. Dad will be coming back and staying with us for a few weeks until he can finish off his retirement, which will be odd. But this is the end of an era in life and it is going to be strange getting used to it!

I love my folks!